None of us like to be forgotten. Yet all of us have had some experience of what it’s like, even if it was only on an occasion. It may be that we weren’t invited to some event, or our contribution to some work wasn’t recognised, or our birthday was forgotten. Here we’re talking just about being omitted or passed over. But even that can be very painful, for it means to be ignored, to be treated as if you were of no significance.
There is another kind of forgetting. When people forget all about us, this is a far deeper and more painful thing. We feel that we don’t matter anymore. That no one cares about us. It’s as if we didn’t exist. We feel we’ve been not just forgotten but abandoned. It’s worse if we are victims of false promises: “I’ll be in touch, I’ll write, I’ll call again,” and so on.
Once there was a wonderful priest (they do exist!) who was admired and loved by his fellow priests and by the parishioners of the parishes he had served. However, this fine priest developed a serious medical condition which forced him to retire from activity ministry and enter a nursing home. He spent the rest of his life there, confined to a wheelchair.
At first he had a stream of visitors. But as the years went by, the stream was reduced to a trickle, and in time even that dried up. Now he was on his own. Not a card, letter, or phone-call. Absolutely nothing. Just a great silence, and a great emptiness. He found it very painful, especially in view of the fact that he had given so much to others.
Then one day he received a visit from a priest who had been a classmate of his. He was delighted to see him, and they talked for a long time. But then at a certain point, he turned to his visitor and said, “Do you think anyone remembers me?” I don’t know what reply the visitor gave him. What reply could he give?
No, it’s not nice to be forgotten. It is extremely painful. We may feel like that about God too. Something bad may have happened to us, so we think,
“God has forgotten me.” This leads to the feeling that God doesn’t care about us, that he doesn’t love us anymore.
That’s how God’s people often felt at the time of the prophets. Two centuries before Christ their kingdom had fallen. The holy city, Jerusalem,
had been destroyed. The beautiful temple had been reduced to rubble. Their sons and daughters had been taken into exile. So they asked themselves, “Where is God? What has become of his promises?” And they concluded that God had forgotten them.
But the prophet assured them that God had not forgotten them. He told them that their sorrows would soon end. God would bring their sons and daughters back from exile. He would level out a highway to facilitate their return. And there would be a great restoration. So the people took heart. The exiles did indeed come back. However, God’s promise was not completely fulfilled until the coming of Jesus.
And we too can take heart. Even though we may forget God, God does not forget us. Advent reminds us of the wonderful promises God made to us, and shows how they are fulfilled in Jesus. The great sign we have that God loves us in the fact that he sent his Son to us. John the Baptist was the one who announced the good news of his coming.
No, God has not forgotten us. God remembers us. Even if everyone else were to forget us, God will not forget us. It’s lovely to be remembered, even if only in a small way. It’s a sign that someone cares about us. God cares about us. We matter to him, because we are his precious daughters and sons.
Since we like to be remembered by others, we have a duty also to remember others, especially those who have been good to us, and who have sacrificed themselves for us. Christmas is a great time for remembering people. One small way we can do it is through a simple card with a few words that come from the heart.
Your sincere friend and parish priest,
Fr Nicholas
Following the resignation of the Archbishop of Canterbury, Bishop Debbie has made the following statement.
"The Makin Report makes for harrowing reading and leaves me with a feeling of deep sadness and shame for the way in which victims of such horrific abuse have been let down by our Church. I am deeply grateful to those who have been brave enough to speak up and to share their stories and wish to assure them of my prayers.
In resigning, the Archbishop of Canterbury is demonstrating his personal and institutional responsibility for the safeguarding failures and I admire him for doing so. I am thankful for his ministry and recognise the efforts he has made to ensure that the Church of England continues to develop its work in safeguarding practice. I am committed to continuing this work in the Diocese of Peterborough to ensure that the Church is as safe a place as it can be."
Following the publication independent review by Keith Makin into the Church of England's handling of allegations of serious abuse by the late John Smyth, the Archbishop of Canterbury said:
"Having sought the gracious permission of His Majesty The King, I have decided to resign as Archbishop of Canterbury.
The Makin Review has exposed the long-maintained conspiracy of silence about the heinous abuses of John Smyth.
When I was informed in 2013 and told that police had been notified, I believed wrongly that an appropriate resolution would follow.
It is very clear that I must take personal and institutional responsibility for the long and retraumatising period between 2013 and 2024.
It is my duty to honour my Constitutional and church responsibilities, so exact timings will be decided once a review of necessary obligations has been completed, including those in England and in the Anglican Communion.
I hope this decision makes clear how seriously the Church of England
understands the need for change and our profound commitment to creating a
safer church. As I step down I do so in sorrow with all victims and survivors of
abuse.
The last few days have renewed my long felt and profound sense of shame at the historic safeguarding failures of the Church of England. For nearly twelve years I have struggled to introduce improvements. It is for others to judge what has been done.
In the meantime, I will follow through on my commitment to meet victims. I will delegate all my other current responsibilities for safeguarding until the necessary risk assessment process is complete.
I ask everyone to keep my wife Caroline and my children in their prayers. They have been my most important support throughout my ministry, and I am eternally grateful for their sacrifice. Caroline led the spouses’ programme during the Lambeth Conference and has travelled tirelessly in areas of conflict supporting the most vulnerable, the women, and those who care for them locally.
I believe that stepping aside is in the best interests of the Church of England, which I dearly love and which I have been honoured to serve. I pray that this decision points us back towards the love that Jesus Christ has for every one of us.
For above all else, my deepest commitment is to the person of Jesus Christ, my saviour and my God; the bearer of the sins and burdens of the world, and the hope of every person."
If you have been affected by the Makin Review and would like confidential, independent, support, please contact the Safe Spaces helpline.
If you would like to report a safeguarding concern, please email the Diocesan Safeguarding Team at safeguarding@peterborough-diocese.org.uk
Diocesan Safeguarding Officer : Victoria Kellett
Office : 01733 887040
Mobile : 07484 424378
Email : victoria.kellett@peterborough-diocese.org.uk
Tom Moore and his team delivered a thrilling and
enjoyable bonfire and firework display on Saturday
9 November. It was clear everything had been
meticulously planned. Turf removed and a firepit
dug in the church lawn, and a safety barrier
around the area. The impressive bonfire was
topped with a guy who looked suspiciously like
Tom himself, and the towering flames caused the
crowd to wonder if the burnt-out house across the
street might have been a victim of a previous bonfire night. Spectacular fireworks soared into the sky, bursting into showers of brilliant colours, and the younger members of the audience were treated to sparklers to wave.
After the fireworks, we moved to the Parish Centre for delicious hot dogs, freshly prepared by the catering team led by Heidi Moore. Many thanks to all whose hard work made the event such a success.
Failure to love is the greatest failure in a Christian. Often, alas, it is not even seen as a sin. Sin is recognised when it means doing harm to a neighbour, but not when it means failure to love, or withholding love.
A story is told about a man who sold an old ‘banger’ of a car to an unsuspecting stranger, and who later went to Confession. Afterwards he met one of his old pals in the local pub. When one of his pals heard he had been to Confession, he said, “I hope you told the priest how you cheated that man over the car.”
“I did no such thing”’ he replied. “I tell the priest my sins. But he has no right to know my business.”
This is the danger facing church-going people. They don’t see the connection between what they do in church on a Sunday and what they do in relation to their neighbour on a weekday.
People may examine their conscience but leave whole fields untouched: the conscientious carrying out of the one’s duty, honesty in business matters, justice, respect and co-operation among those who live under the same roof, and so on.
For such people religion is divorced from life. It is a private matter between them and God. According to the Bible, a religion like that is a distortion. Worse, it is an abomination.
It’s very easy to separate the two great commandments – to love God, and love our neighbour as ourselves. In a sense there is only one commandment – the commandment to love. It is like a coin, one entity with two sides. It is impossible to have one without the other. It’s not that we hate our neighbours. No, we don’t hate them. It’s just that we refuse to take them into our heart. In some cases we don’t even know them. We are indifferent to them. The worst thing of all is a cold indifference.
Yet all of us have a great capacity to love, but sadly we use it all too seldom. The actor, Christopher Reeve, was famous for his portrayal of Superman in the movies. However, as a result of a fall from a horse, he ended up in a wheelchair, paralysed from the neck down. He said he received 100,000
letters of sympathy and support from people he’d never met. This led him to ask: “Why does it take a tragedy before we show our appreciation for one another?”
Sometimes we leave it too late and then are full of regrets. We wait until it is too late to tell others that we love them. We leave it too late to mend a quarrel.
Many of us have a problem with a particular person, be it a neighbour or a family member. What can we do? Firstly, we should avoid any kind of retaliation – this only makes matters worse. Secondly, we should try to keep communicating with the person, even if it’s just a matter of saying “good morning” or “good evening”. And thirdly, we should pray for that person. If we can sincerely pray for a person, it will keep bitterness and hatred from accumulating in our heart, which is so destructive.
Knowing the two most important commandments of God – love God, and love neighbour – is a first step. Putting them into practice is the next step. If we do so we are not far from the Kingdom, just a step away. In order to take that step we need God to touch our hearts.
Your sincerely friend and parish priest,
Fr Nicholas
On Harvest Sunday, two of our young chorister probationers were made up to full choristers before a large congregation assembled for All Age Worship that morning.
Choristers always undertake a probationary period when they join the choir, which can be any necessary length of time determined by the director of music in consultation with others. During that period time, they learn essential skills associated with being a good and useful chorister – commitment, punctuality, enthusiasm, and willingness to work hard with others to achieve a common goal.
You may ask why singing perfectly isn’t included in the list of qualities above. That’s because we don’t expect any of our singers to be the finished article when they first start in the choir. Membership of the choir offers the opportunity to become improved as singers attend more practices and service, and to learn from others who are more experienced. This is why team work and camaraderie in a choir is so important, as well as acceptance of others and their abilities; everyone needs each other in the ensemble. We are fortunate at St Matthew’s to have singers who work together frequently and who are genuinely supportive of the others around them. Everyone is keen to see each other succeed, which is a very healthy atmosphere to be working in. We rejoice in one another’s successes and help each other to overcome difficulties. I am regularly mindful of something one of my former cathedral lay clerks said to me once; “Being in a choir is a great leveller. No one voice part is more important than another, no one singer is of more importance that the next. The older singers can’t do without the younger singers, and the younger singers need the older singers”.
Our choir is made up of people from different backgrounds, of people of different ages with various degrees of musical ability, all working together to help others worship. It is amazing that this bunch of people meet together and can create the sound that is recognised as that of a choir. Next time the procession passes you, have a quick look at the members of the choir singing as they go by, and marvel at what a remarkable thing it is that human beings can actually think about the notes they need to sing, and create those notes with their voice. Incredible!
Do you know anyone who might like to work with us in what we do? There are places in the choir, particularly for girls and boys from year 5 up. Being a chorister offers unique opportunities in music, and our choir here at St Matthew’s works hard, achieves much, and has fun together. Let’s get others involved!
Some of St Matthew's services (most Sunday mornings and some special services) are live-streamed or recorded for those who cannot attend church in person. Under GDPR, the church must gain the consent of anyone whose image may be captured, as this constitutes collection of "personal data". This includes clergy, readers/intercessors, musicians and congregation.
Whilst every attempt is made not to capture the faces of members of the congregation, this may occasionally happen if people turn around or move around the church during the service. The exception is communion, when the congregation is not filmed. The side aisles and back of the nave are so far as possible film-free areas not covered by the camera. Anyone whose personal data is collected must give their consent. Consent forms are available in church and online . The full policy can be read on our parish website or on the noticeboards in church.
Please read Our Privacy Policy - Filming & Photography and if you are happy to, give your consent by downloading, printing, signing, and handing in the form to a church representative or the Parish Office on your next visit. The consent form can be found at the bottom of the page.
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