News & Events - Parish News

October’s Pastoral Letter from the Vicar

Not Good to be Alone

Posted on Tuesday 1 October 2024 at 9:00am

Fr Nicholas

I have been lamenting the gradual numeric decline of Christian weddings, or perhaps more precisely, marriage between Christians. This process of the decline of marriages solemnized in church has accelerated since the pandemic, but had started long before. Just one last year. There are many societal factors at play. But, there are also such riches, such insights for us all here.

The Bible says, ‘It is not good for a human being to be alone.’ Sometimes it is good for us to be alone – but not as a permanent condition. Human beings are social by nature. Some of us are lonely. Of ourselves we are incomplete. We need others. To feel this need is not a sign of sickness but of health. Insanity has been defined as a condition in which people are no longer able to connect with other people.

God first gave Adam the animals. But Adam was unable to find a suitable partner among them. A pet is good but no substitute for human companionship. Then God gave Adam a woman, Eve. As soon as Adam saw Eve he recognised in her a true companion and fitting partner. She was made of the same material as himself, possessed the same dignity as himself, and was therefore his equal. True community can be created only among equals.

In marriage God answered the human need for friendship, companionship, closeness and warmth – all those things we pine for but find so difficult. These needs can also be met by belonging to a community. And those who have a close relationship with God are never alone.

When two people get married a special bond is formed between them. From this day forward they are bound together in a relationship that will profoundly influence their lives.

What are the things that weaken the marriage bond? Breaches of trust, lack of communication, selfishness, and above all infidelity. On top of these there are the corrosive cultural influences that can make divorce seem almost inevitable.

And what are the things that strengthen the bond? Trust – this is what holds a relationship together through the inevitable trials and tribulations.

Good communication. This is probably the most important ingredient in the everyday health of a relationship. It enables couples to solve problems together. Without communication there can be no unity of heart.

Unselfishness, and fidelity.

As is so often said, relationships have to be worked on. They suffer from neglect just as surely as a garden does, our garden does! To enter marriage is to enter a school of love, a school in which all are slow learners.

The bond which two people seal on their wedding day is not made of unbreakable material, but of human, and therefore breakable material. The only bond that is unbreakable is the bond that God formed with us in Christ.

The fragility of the bond should make the couple eager to seek God’s help. Marriage is a sacrament of love, an outward and visible sign which draws its strength from God, who is the source of love. God blesses the marriage bond, and pledges the life-long support of his grace in the sacrament of marriage.

Indissoluble monogamy is not just a clerical hobbyhorse. It finds a powerful justification in the special needs of children to be nurtured and cared for over a much longer period of time than almost any member of the animal species.

Your sincerely friend and parish priest,
Fr Nicholas

Live-streaming, GDPR and Your Consent

Posted on Monday 16 September 2024 at 11:30am

Online live-streaming of services

Some of St Matthew's services (most Sunday mornings and some special services) are live-streamed or recorded for those who cannot attend church in person. Under GDPR, the church must gain the consent of anyone whose image may be captured, as this constitutes collection of "personal data". This includes clergy, readers/intercessors, musicians and congregation.

Whilst every attempt is made not to capture the faces of members of the congregation, this may occasionally happen if people turn around or move around the church during the service. The exception is communion, when the congregation is not filmed. The side aisles and back of the nave are so far as possible film-free areas not covered by the camera. Anyone whose personal data is collected must give their consent. Consent forms are available in church and online . The full policy can be read on our parish website or on the noticeboards in church.

Please read Our Privacy Policy - Filming & Photography and if you are happy to, give your consent by downloading, printing, signing, and handing in the form to a church representative or the Parish Office on your next visit. The consent form can be found at the bottom of the page.

September's Pastoral Letter from the Vicar

The Persecution of the Just

Posted on Sunday 1 September 2024 at 12:10pm

Fr Nicholas

As is so often and easily said, 'We live in a fearful world'. War and violence, fear and criminality of many kinds, dominate the media headlines. It is tempting to despair. The shocking spectacle of the recent riots, the manipulation of weak-minded mobs, the suffering of the wholly innocent, have only served to intensify the apprehension that is never far from the front of our minds when we are out and about. The dark side of human nature and our propensity toward sin is much in evidence. Without being trite, our faith can of course help and inform our responses and help moderate base emotions. There have also been a few profoundly moving attempts to bring perpetrator and victim together to deepen understanding, even bring about reconciliation. There is much good in the world, and we dare not lose sight of it.

Good people have always suffered at the hands of the wicked. They suffer because their blameless lives are a reproach to the wicked. They make evildoers uncomfortable by what they say in confronting injustice and evil, and sometimes just by the relative goodness and uprightness of their lives. It is precisely because they are good (not perfect) that they suffer.

Elie Wiesel, the Jewish writer and Nobel Peace Prize winner, tells a very disturbing story in one of his books. Once after delivering a lecture in New York he met a man who looked vaguely familiar. He began to wonder who he was and where they had met before. Then he remembered. He had known him in Auschwitz. Suddenly an incident involving this man came back to him.

As soon as children arrived by train at Auschwitz , together with the elderly and the sick, they were immediately selected for the gas chamber. On one occasion a group of children were left to wait by themselves for the next day. This man asked the guards if he could stay with the children during their last night on earth. Surprisingly his request was granted.

How did they spend that last night? He started off by telling the children stories in an effort to cheer them up. However, instead of cheering them up, he succeeded only in making them cry. So what did they do? They cried together until daybreak. Then he accompanied the little ones to the gas chamber. Afterwards he returned to the prison yard and reported for work. When the guards saw him, they burst out laughing.

In this story we see the brazenness of evildoers, and a marvellous example of service done to the little ones. The man's heroic act of service towards the little ones shines out all the brighter because of the darkness of the background. In Auschwitz all that was good and decent was trampled into the ground. Their self-interest was the name of the game. Compassion was rare as a flower in winter.

Yet this man rose above all of that. He risked his life to befriend the little ones. He had no answers to give them, no salvation to offer them. All he could do was accompany them during their last hours so that they would not suffer alone.

He is a Christlike figure. He would not participate in evil. Neither would he stand idly by nor watch others suffer without trying to alleviate their sufferings.

Even though he was just an ordinary prisoner, with no rank or status of any kind, he was undoubtedly the greatest person in that sad place on that sad occasion. What made him great was his goodness.

Christ was the supremely just one. Yet he too suffered. Throughout his public ministry he was hounded by his enemies. On the cross he suffered the taunts of his enemies and of the godless.

Christ was victorious, not by avoiding evil, but by confronting it and overcoming it. He gives courage and hope to all who sacrifice themselves for others in the cause of right.

Persecution has always been the lot of the righteous. However, it gives them an opportunity to show their true mettle. Besides, the just know that God is on their side. The conviction of the righteous is their belief in God's love for them. God never abandons the upright, but their reward is in the life -to-come.

Your sincere friend and parish priest,
Fr Nicholas

Building a Generous Church

The Stewardship Team

Posted on Tuesday 27 August 2024 at 1:51pm

Being a member of the Christian Church is not a private vocation but involves belonging to a group of people who accept the Word of God as the most important guide to living together and worshipping our Heavenly Father. The Church as an institution, and this Parish of St Matthew, relies upon our response to God's generosity as the only way to sustain, deepen and extend our life together. That life is not ours alone but demands service to the whole people of God, whether in the Church or without, and this may require our time and talents as well as our financial resources. This is what we mean by Stewardship, and the Church of England has chosen to focus on this in the months of September and October under the theme of 'Building A Generous Church'.

Through the coming weeks we will have the opportunity to learn more together and to reflect upon how we respond to the need to build a generous Church, both individually and collectively. In preparing to think about our response, we may focus on the acronym 'MINT' ~ Means, Impact, Need and Trust.

Means - At St Matthew's most members of our Stewardship scheme find it convenient to use the 'Parish Giving Scheme' of direct debit from one's bank account (which can be set up via our giving webpage) or weekly envelopes in the collection plate, but in recent years we have introduced other ways of giving, including the donation box and a payment device for bank cards at the back of church (helpful for visitors) and QR codes printed in the orders of service.

Impact - The importance of Stewardship is better understood if we are fully aware of the impact that it will have on the Church's ministry and mission. Impact is about how we are realising our vision as a Church, such as bringing more people to Christ, supporting vulnerable people or creating a sense of community cohesion in the Parish. Once we understand better what we can do together, we can think of new and creative ways to spread the Gospel.

Need - Our response to God's generosity can be encouraged through a proper understanding of need, not only in terms of money but also of our mission of service to the wider community around St Matthew's. Sustaining and developing our daily and weekly worship, providing a place for the 9 celebration of the great festivals such as Easter and Christmas, and being here for life events such as baptisms, weddings and funerals, are all part of this.

Trust - The resources that we have, both personal and financial, ultimately come from our Heavenly Father and we have each been entrusted with our share. If we seek to utilise the time and talents that we have within the Parish, we must show to those who give that we are wise stewards of their generosity and that their giving is being used productively and appropriately.

Over the course of the next few weeks you will find more information about this initiative being made available in the pewsheet and the orders of service. If you would like to know more in the meantime, you would be most welcome to approach any member of the Stewardship Team (Donald Cran - Treasurer, Polly Matthews - Stewardship Recorder, Gary and Dave the Churchwardens, and David Waller).

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